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M. Raquel S. Soteldo

How to Set Boundaries?


  • Know Your Limits:  Identify your physical, emotional, and mental limitations. What drains your energy? What situations make you uncomfortable?

  • Communicate Clearly:  Express your boundaries directly and calmly. Don't expect others to mind-read.

  • Be Assertive, Not Aggressive:  Firmness is key, but maintain a respectful tone.

  • Prepare for Pushback:  People may resist your boundaries initially. Be prepared to reiterate them calmly.

  • Practice Makes Perfect:  Setting boundaries is a skill that improves with practice. Don't get discouraged if it feels awkward at first.


Examples of Setting Boundaries:


  • With Family:  "I love spending time with you, but I need some alone time after work to recharge."

  • With Friends:  "I'm happy to help, but I can't lend you money this time."

  • At Work:  "I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I can't take on any additional projects right now."

  • On Social Media:  "I'm not comfortable discussing politics on social media. Let's chat about something else."


Remember, boundaries are not about punishment. They're about self-care and building healthier relationships.


Here are some additional tips for success:


  • Start Small:  Begin with small, manageable boundaries and gradually build your confidence.

  • Be Consistent:  Enforcing boundaries is crucial. Don't waiver or give in to guilt trips.

  • Focus on "I" Statements:  Instead of accusatory language, use "I" statements to express your needs and feelings. (e.g., "I feel overwhelmed when..." instead of "You're stressing me out.")

  • Respect Other People's Boundaries:   Just as you deserve boundaries, so do others. Be mindful of their limits as well.



Boundaries are not selfish; they're essential for a balanced and fulfilling life. By prioritizing your well-being and communicating your needs clearly, you pave the way for healthier, more respectful relationships in all areas of your life.

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