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Making Your Home a Safe House #SoteldoPsychotherapy #Counseling

Updated: Mar 28

A woman comforting a pensive man sitting on a couch

Keep Your Home Anger-Free

Anger is toxic. You should try as much as possible to keep it outside the boundaries

of your home. You have a right to do so, and it is within your powers. However, since

you have other family members and a host of emotional triggers, you may not be in

total control of what’s going on. You may find yourself in the middle of endless chaos

if there are many emotional triggers in your home.

Emotional reactions are so powerful and may get irrational at times. These reactions

do not conform to the rational ways of resolving issues. One thing you might have

realized is that no problem can be solved by having a heated argument.

Some arguments get so repetitive that you can write them down word for word.

Such repetitive arguments only succeed in generating more and more anger while

the problem remains unsolved. So what’s the way forward? There’s only one way

out and that is to come up with rules to resolve conflicts to break the chain of

repetitive arguments.


Commit yourself to stop it

Making your home safe and free from anger needs dedication and commitment. You

must ensure that conflicts never arise within the confines of your home. It might be

difficult to do but it’s doable.

Your home should be the most relaxing place where you can have peace of mind

after work. Your children also deserve to have a peaceful home away from the

demands and rigors of society and school. In short, all members of your family have

the right to have at least one place where they can relax, connect, and re-energize.

So, you need to bring your family members together so all of them can commit to

creating that peaceful environment at home. But conflicts are bound to arise at

home, no matter the measures put in place. What matters is how you handle these

conflicts whenever they arise. Do you allow them to grow out of control or you have

mechanisms to nip them in the bud?   

You can’t avoid conflicts, but you can find ways to mitigate their impact on the

home. One way of doing this is by taking conflicts outside the house. For example, if

you have two family members who like arguing a lot, you can send them out

whenever they start their arguments and tell them to come back in only when the

argument is over. This will make them be more sensitive about engaging one

another and the arguments will die naturally. 


Some rules you can follow to reduce conflicts include:


Disengaging when upset

Sometimes keeping quiet can help solve a problem. No relationship can improve by

engaging in angry interactions. So when you feel upset, just disengage.


Apologize as soon as you realize your mistake

When you realize your mistake, apologize immediately. This prevents arguments and



Listen more than you talk

Allowing someone to speak their mind rather than exchanging with them can help

them cool down.


All in all, commit yourself to be the sole source of joy and inspiration to your family,

not a source of conflicts.

Raquel Soteldo RP(Q), MA, ABA, PMP, CCC

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