Soteldo Psychotherapy
A Person-Centered Approach to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Codependency
by Raquel Soteldo RP
A Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician
(343) 312-5283
Attachment-Based Therapy
What is Attachment-based Therapy?
Attachment-based therapy is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on the relationship between a person and their primary caregiver, typically their parent, during the early stages of development. It is based on the idea that the quality of this early relationship can have a profound impact on a person's emotional and social development, as well as their ability to form healthy relationships later in life.
Attachment-based therapy aims to help individuals develop secure and healthy attachment styles by exploring their early attachment experiences and their current relationships. The therapy may involve working with both the individual and their caregiver to repair any past attachment injuries and develop new patterns of relating that promote emotional security and closeness.
Attachment-based therapy has been used to treat a wide range of mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, trauma, and personality disorders. It is often used with children and adolescents, but can also be effective for adults.
What are the different Attachment Styles?
There are four main attachment styles that have been identified through research in developmental psychology:
1. Secure attachment: People with a secure attachment style generally feel comfortable with emotional intimacy and are able to form close, supportive relationships. They are able to communicate their needs effectively and are generally able to trust others and feel secure in their relationships.
2. Anxious/preoccupied attachment: People with an anxious/preoccupied attachment style tend to worry about rejection and abandonment, and may be overly dependent on their partners for validation and reassurance. They may be overly sensitive to perceived threats to the relationship and may become preoccupied with their partner's behavior.
3. Avoidant/dismissive attachment: People with an avoidant/dismissive attachment style tend to avoid emotional intimacy and may have a fear of being too dependent on others. They may be uncomfortable with closeness and may prioritize independence over emotional connection.
4. Fearful/avoidant attachment: People with a fearful/avoidant attachment style may have conflicting desires for emotional connection and independence. They may be afraid of rejection and abandonment, but also fear being too close to others. They may have a history of trauma or abuse that has contributed to their attachment style.
It's important to note that attachment styles can change over time and may be influenced by a variety of factors, including early experiences with caregivers, past relationships, and current life circumstances.
What are the characteristics of a person with anxious attachment style in a relationship?
People with an anxious attachment style tend to have a deep desire for intimacy, but they also have a fear of rejection and abandonment. Here are some common characteristics of individuals with an anxious attachment style in a relationship:
1. Need for reassurance: They may constantly seek reassurance from their partner that they are loved and valued. They may doubt their own worthiness and may fear that their partner will leave them.
2. Fear of abandonment: They may be overly sensitive to any signs that their partner is withdrawing or becoming distant. They may also be quick to interpret small setbacks or disagreements as a sign that the relationship is in trouble.
3. Difficulty with boundaries: They may have difficulty setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships. They may be overly accommodating to their partner's needs, even if it means sacrificing their own needs.
4. Intense emotions: They may experience intense emotions, especially when it comes to relationships. They may feel overwhelmed by their feelings and may have a difficult time regulating their emotions.
5. Jealousy and possessiveness: They may feel threatened by their partner's other relationships or activities and may become jealous or possessive.
6. Hypersensitivity to rejection: They may be hypersensitive to rejection or criticism, and may take it personally even if it is not intended as such.
7. Tendency to cling: They may feel a strong need to cling to their partner and may have a difficult time being alone. They may also have a tendency to move quickly in relationships, seeking intimacy and commitment before they are ready.
It's important to note that these characteristics do not necessarily apply to all individuals with an anxious attachment style, and that attachment styles can be influenced by a variety of factors, including past experiences and current life circumstances.
What are the characteristics of a person with avoidant attachment style in a relationship?
People with an avoidant attachment style tend to prioritize independence and self-sufficiency over emotional intimacy in relationships. Here are some common characteristics of individuals with an avoidant attachment style in a relationship:
1. Difficulty with emotional intimacy: They may have a difficult time expressing emotions and may feel uncomfortable with emotional intimacy. They may prefer to keep their feelings to themselves and may avoid deep conversations or sharing personal information.
2. Fear of dependence: They may have a fear of becoming too dependent on their partner or of losing their independence. They may avoid relying on their partner for emotional support or other needs.
3. Tendency to withdraw: They may withdraw from their partner when they feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. They may need space and time alone to process their thoughts and emotions.
4. Difficulty with commitment: They may have a difficult time committing to a long-term relationship or may avoid commitment altogether. They may prefer casual relationships or may have a history of short-term relationships.
5. Emotionally distant: They may appear emotionally distant or detached from their partner. They may have difficulty expressing affection or may avoid physical touch.
6. Self-sufficiency: They may prioritize self-sufficiency and may prefer to handle problems on their own. They may have difficulty asking for help or accepting help from others.
7. Aversion to vulnerability: They may have an aversion to vulnerability and may avoid situations where they may be emotionally exposed or vulnerable.
It's important to note that these characteristics do not necessarily apply to all individuals with an avoidant attachment style, and that attachment styles can be influenced by a variety of factors, including past experiences and current life circumstances.
What are the characteristics of a person with fearful attachment style in a relationship?
People with a fearful attachment style, also known as disorganized attachment, tend to have conflicting desires for emotional connection and independence. They may have experienced trauma or abuse in their past, which has led to a fear of both intimacy and abandonment. Here are some common characteristics of individuals with a fearful attachment style in a relationship:
1. Fear of intimacy: They may have a fear of emotional intimacy and may avoid getting too close to others. They may struggle to trust others and may have a tendency to push people away.
2. Fear of abandonment: They may also have a fear of abandonment and may be hypersensitive to any signs that their partner is withdrawing or becoming distant.
3. Conflicting emotions: They may have conflicting emotions about relationships and may feel both a strong desire for emotional connection and a fear of vulnerability.
4. Difficulty with trust: They may have difficulty trusting others, especially in romantic relationships. They may be skeptical of their partner's motives or may be quick to assume the worst.
5. Tendency to self-sabotage: They may have a tendency to self-sabotage relationships, either by pushing their partner away or by engaging in behaviors that are harmful to the relationship.
6. Emotional volatility: They may experience intense emotions, including anger and anxiety, and may have a difficult time regulating their emotions.
7. Hypervigilance: They may be hypervigilant about their partner's behavior and may be quick to interpret small setbacks or disagreements as a sign that the relationship is in trouble.
It's important to note that these characteristics do not necessarily apply to all individuals with a fearful attachment style, and that attachment styles can be influenced by a variety of factors, including past experiences and current life circumstances.