Soteldo Psychotherapy
A Person-Centered Approach to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Codependency
by Raquel Soteldo RP
A Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician
(343) 312-5283
Sexual Identity Confusion
SNOMED Terms
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Adjustment disorder with depressed mood
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Adjustment disorder with mixed anxiety and depressed mood
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Adjustment disorder with mixed disturbance of emotions AND conduct
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Adjustment disorder with mixed emotional features
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Gender identity disorder
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Generalized anxiety disorder in remission
Goals
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Identify sexual identity and engage in a wide range of relationships that are supportive of that identity.
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Reduce overall frequency and intensity of the anxiety associated with sexual identity so that daily functioning is not impaired.
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Disclose sexual orientation to significant others.
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Return to previous level of emotional, psychological, and social functioning.
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Eliminate all feelings of depression (e.g., depressed mood, guilt, worthlessness).
Behavioral Definitions
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Uncertainty about basic sexual orientation.
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Difficulty in enjoying sexual activities with opposite-sex partner because of low arousal.
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Sexual fantasies and desires about same-sex partners, which causes distress.
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Sexual activity with person of same sex that has caused confusion, guilt, and anxiety.
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Depressed mood, diminished interest in activities.
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Marital conflicts caused by uncertainty about sexual orientation.
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Feelings of guilt, shame, and/or worthlessness.
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Concealing sexual identity from significant others (e.g., friends, family, spouse).
Diagnoses
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Adjustment Disorder With Depressed Mood
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Adjustment Disorder With Mixed Anxiety and Depressed Mood
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Anxiety Disorder NOS
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Adjustment Disorder With Anxiety
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Dysthymic Disorder
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Gender Identity Disorder in Adolescents or Adults
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Generalized Anxiety Disorder
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Identity Problem
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Major Depressive Disorder, Single Episode
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Major Depressive Disorder, Recurrent
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Sexual Disorder NOS
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Avoidant Personality Disorder
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Borderline Personality Disorder
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Narcissistic Personality Disorder
What is Sexual Identity Confusion?
Sexual identity confusion, also sometimes called sexual identity exploration, refers to a period of uncertainty about one's sexual orientation. It's a normal part of development for some people, especially during adolescence when teenagers are exploring their sexuality and figuring out who they're attracted to.
Here's a breakdown of what sexual identity confusion might involve:
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Questioning Attraction: Someone experiencing confusion might question who they're attracted to – men, women, both, or neither.
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Experimentation: They might experiment with dating or physical intimacy with different people to gain clarity about their preferences.
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Not Fitting in Neat Categories: They might not feel like they fit neatly into established labels like heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.
Important Points to Remember:
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It's Normal: Sexual identity confusion is a common experience, especially for teenagers. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you; it's simply part of self-discovery.
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There's No Time Limit: Some people know from a young age, while others take longer to explore and understand themselves.
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Pressure to Label: Society often pressures people to label their sexual orientation, but it's okay to take your time and not feel rushed.
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Fluidity: Sexual orientation can be fluid for some people. Their attractions may change over time, and that's perfectly valid.
How to Cope with Sexual Identity Confusion:
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Self-Exploration: Spend time reflecting on your feelings and experiences. What kind of relationships do you envision for yourself? What kind of people are you drawn to emotionally and physically?
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Talk to Someone You Trust: Confide in a supportive friend, family member, therapist, or counselor. Talking openly about your confusion can be very helpful.
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Research Different Sexualities: Learn about different sexual orientations and identities.
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Focus on Self-Acceptance: The most important thing is to accept yourself and your journey of exploration.
Here are some additional points to consider:
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Sexual Identity vs. Sexual Behavior: Sexual identity is about who you're attracted to, while sexual behavior is about what you do physically. You don't have to have sex with someone to know you're attracted to them.
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Distinguishing Romantic vs. Platonic Attraction: It's important to differentiate between romantic and platonic feelings for someone. You might care deeply about someone as a friend without being romantically attracted to them.
Remember, there's no single path to self-discovery. Be patient with yourself, explore your feelings, and seek support if you need it.
Effects of Sexual Identity Confusion
Here's a breakdown of the potential positive and negative impacts:
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Negative Effects:
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Anxiety and Stress: The uncertainty about one's sexual orientation can be a source of anxiety and stress.
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Depression: In some cases, confusion around sexual identity can lead to feelings of depression, particularly if someone feels isolated or unsupported.
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Isolation: Fear of judgment or rejection might lead someone to isolate themselves from friends or family who may not be understanding.
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Low Self-Esteem: The struggle to understand oneself and societal pressures to conform can lead to feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem.
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Relationship Strain: Confusion about sexual orientation can strain relationships with partners who might be expecting a clear definition of the relationship.
Positive Effects:
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Self-Discovery: The process of questioning and exploring can be a valuable journey of self-discovery.
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Increased Empathy: Exploring sexual identity can lead to a greater understanding of different sexual orientations and a more empathetic approach to others.
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Personal Growth: Overcoming the challenges of identity confusion can lead to personal growth and increased self-acceptance.
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Stronger Support Systems: Reaching out for support can build stronger bonds with friends, family, or LGBTQ+ communities who provide acceptance and understanding.
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Greater Authenticity: Ultimately, resolving sexual identity confusion, whether through a specific label or not, allows someone to live more authentically and express themselves freely.
How does Sexual Identity Confusion affect your life?
Emotional Distress: Sexual identity confusion can cause significant emotional distress and inner turmoil.
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Social Isolation: Individuals may fear judgment or rejection from family members, friends, or peers if they disclose their confusion or explore their sexual orientation or gender identity openly.
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Identity Formation: Individuals may question societal norms and expectations related to sexual orientation and gender identity as they explore and develop their sense of self.
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Impact on Relationships: Individuals may struggle to communicate their feelings and experiences to loved ones, leading to misunderstandings or strained relationships.
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Health and Well-being: The stress and anxiety associated with questioning one's sexual orientation or gender identity can contribute to sleep disturbances, appetite changes, and other physical symptoms.
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Cultural and Religious Factors: Individuals from cultures or religious backgrounds that stigmatize LGBTQ+ identities may face additional challenges in accepting and embracing their true selves.
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Support and Resources: Seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals can be crucial for individuals experiencing sexual identity confusion.
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Overall, sexual identity confusion can have profound effects on individuals' lives, affecting their emotional well-being, relationships, identity formation, and overall quality of life. It's essential for individuals experiencing sexual identity confusion to seek support, validation, and understanding as they navigate this challenging aspect of their identity development.