OVERCOMING a TRAUMA BOND
There is a need to find practical solutions in overcoming trauma bonds, especially with the numerous associated dangers. Although it may be hard to achieve an entanglement from trauma-bonds, there are practical ways of achieving this goal.
Compromising truth for promise does not change much in managing trauma bonds. Remaining aware of the current state of affairs to actively take care of ourselves.
Not compromising truth for promise refers to avoiding fantasy in regards to changes that a partner might undergo in the near future while staying grounded in the evidence of the partner's behaviour not changing. This scenario reveals that patterns of experienced abuse are true, as the process of outdoing abuse takes a long time even in instances where one of the previously abusive partners is currently non-violent. This case refers to being outwardly open concerning our partner's violent pasts towards us and how such experiences are currently affecting us.
Being cognizant of our current state means being aware of exactly what we are undergoing. Remaining aware of what is happening in our lives sometimes involves making notes of important happenings to act as later reminders.
Taking great care of ourselves refers to behaving gently towards ourselves. Such cases involve replacing negative self-talk with positive thoughts and emotions and establishing a life that does not include those that hurt us. Being gentle rather than condemning ourselves includes acknowledging the journey we have taken to make changes in our thinking and appreciating that letting go is part of the healing process.
Although our thoughts might be filled with negative emotions, it is essential to keep a positive attitude throughout. In as much as it might be hard to let go of memories of those that we had previously built our lives with and ended up hurting us, it is possible to find a way out. it is important to understand that change takes effort, and living life moment after moment is vital in doing away with memories of an abusive relationship. Self-activities, sharing the experiences with others and individual therapy are essential in breaking off trauma bonds.
Other useful tips include individual professional counseling through available Hotlines as a form of self-care.
Some of the danger signs to look out for that will alert you of the need to seek help include;
* Incessantly seeking contact with people who are likely to cause you more pain
* Doing the extremes in helping people who have hurt you previously
* Having an obsession with the people who have been destructive to you even if they are long gone
* The inability to move away from unhealthy relationships
* Having an attraction to untrustworthy individuals
* Keeping contact with people who have previously betrayed you
* Seeking approval from people who show little concern about you
* Trusting people who are previously been unreliable
* Having an attraction to untrustworthy people
* Keeping contact with abusive people who show little or no responsibility
There are numerous available Hotlines or websites dedicated to providing solutions and helping you break the trauma bonds.
Raquel Soteldo RP(Q), MA, ABA, PMP, CCC
